NewmeOLDself

2009-08-26T15:31:00.000-07:00

The most dreaded topic of my life: Uni life.

I can't help but come rant over here so please pardon me if this sounds too sad for you.

School has started for 3 weeks and it is only getting tougher as the tutorials begin. Had my first calculus tutorial this afternoon and my knowledge on "limits" got from bad to worse. After that was a retarded math lab dealing with software. I was feeling so terrible after the tutorial that I started imagining me dropping out of Uni. And I had to be late and miss lab and so I was lost for a good half hour. At that time, I was just thinking of how pathetic I could be to be unable to ask for help from any friend at all, because I had none.

So I'm still lost for math and many many others. Work work work and more homework is waiting for me and I just feel too lousy to even think of them. Depressed. Hungry. Sleepy. Going for yet another lecture which I never knew what is it about. STUDY!

So it's not true when people say JC years are the toughest years of academic life. Uni is. ='[

2009-07-15T18:31:00.000-07:00

Aquarius is one of the hardest signs of the zodiac to understand. Aquarius are often felt to be unfathomable when in reality they live almost entirely on the surface.Aquarians will not reveal their innermost feelings no matter how hard others may try to persuade them, simply because they are unable to do so.People of this sign have a reputation for being enigmatic, difficult to understand, and different from everyone else, and cleverly play on this to gain power and attention.They are extremely friendly yet detached at a personal level, sociable in large gatherings, but unsociable at smaller meetings and parties which require greater intimacy.They are helpful and compassionate when involved with charities or group activities.

source: www.findyourfate.com

2009-07-10T00:14:00.000-07:00

Many a times, we do not get what we want in life. We either try again or we accept it. In life, there is no such thing as perfection and I have to taste this harsh and cold reality. So I took the second option, which is to accept it. Take it as it is and make the best out of your limited resources. That is what we can and has always been doing. Life is like a piece of bare land given to you, empty and colourless. It is up to you to add life to it and make changes using what you have and maximise your given resources. Too bad, in this island, trading is banned and there is just nothing you can do about you materials. Sad life.

Make the best out of it...here I come...

2009-06-29T14:46:00.000-07:00

I notice that my temper is getting from bad to worse..can anyone enlighten me on how to manage my emotions? I cannot flare up so often..but I SHOULD flare up in front of my STUDENTS!!! I lost a bucket of blood this morning marking their 报章报道 la...I don't even know how to correct them from their sentences. I should NEVER consider taking up the MOE award which includes a bond with MOE..NEVER!!!

2009

2009-06-26T10:22:00.001-07:00

2009 had been both a good year and a bad year for me.

I had several bad experiences which has mostly got to do with school and stuff. I was rejected by both NTU and SMU and got into FASS in NUS, which I'm not exactly glad. I failed my Traffic Police test. I also got my appeals rejected. These are the bad things which also led to the good ones. All these experiences have made me a stronger person. I finally experienced rejections and failures. But all these are just slightly too heavy a blow for me to handle right now. Haix..

2009-06-21T01:23:00.000-07:00

A wise man told me: There are always two sides to things. It only depends on how you perceive them.
Thus, there will always be pros and cons to one matter right isn't it? You can always stick to your way of looking at things and magnify the disadvantages and keep harping on it. Or you can look at things from the other perspective and find that it is not actually as bad as you make it out to be.

The wise also said: A person will always be wearing a mask unless alone.
I had always thought this is true in the working world, the society forces us to do so. But if you pay attention, it's the same to anyone like you best friend, boy/girlfriend or even family members. Have you not tried to uphold your self-esteem in front of these people and to say something intelligent so as not to make a fool out of yourself? Have you ever tried to say something just to follow the crowd and not be the odd one out? But only when you are alone do you have the luxury to remove your mask, like relieving a heavy burden weighing down on you all the time. Even as I am typing out this post, I am thinking about how to phrase my words for my readers. Therefore, this is not the real me posting.

Being "jobless" has given me more personal time to think and rest. Thinking makes one grow, that' what I think. Maybe I should stop thinking so much as I am "old" enough as it is.

Maturity may not be a bad thing...right?

2009-06-17T01:14:00.000-07:00

Have you ever thought of the happy memories you once shared with your loved one and let out a smile unconsciously? What is the most memorable event which happened between you and your father? Fathers' day is just around the corner. What have you gotten your dad?

As time passed us by, these memories fade away too. The change in people made it even harder to remember the past and all it does is make you wonder if the past is true or just a dream. Because it is so difficult to believe you have spent really really great times together with this changed person. Therefore calling it a dream would be more appropriate.

I suck at being a friend, a girlfriend, a sister and also a daughter. So, please tell me what I am good at.
I seem strong but I am vulnerable too.

2009-05-14T12:12:00.000-07:00

I finally received my long awaited letter of acceptance but it isn’t entirely pleasing. I got offered a place in NUS FASS which is my 4th choice for NUS. I wasn’t keen on going NUS in the 1st place but now, it seems that I’m left with no choice. Till now, I’m still pinning hope in NTU Maritime Studies, hoping that they have already accepted me since I was not called down for interview, which some people has already went to. (*The letter is being sent to me right now*)

Since FASS was really my last back up plan. I shall accept my fate if my appeal fails and I have no other better choices.

Pray for me still…

Life is getting duller as the days pass. It will get better after this month =]

Be contented with what you have, everyday is an experience.

2009-05-12T14:53:00.000-07:00

Something extraordinary introduced by junsheng.

Love Story lyrics
Songwriters: Swift, Taylor Alison;

We were both young when I first saw you
I close my eyes
And the flashback starts
I'm standing there
On a balcony in summer air

See the lights
See the party, the ball gowns
I see you make your way through the crowd
And say hello, little did I know

That you were Romeo, you were throwing pebbles
And my daddy said stay away from Juliet
And I was crying on the staircase
Begging you please don't go, and I said

Romeo take me somewhere we can be alone
I'll be waiting all there's left to do is run
You'll be the prince and I'll be the princess
It's a love story baby just say yes

So I sneak out to the garden to see you
We keep quiet 'cause we're dead if they knew
So close your eyes
Escape this town for a little while

'Cause you were Romeo, I was a scarlet letter
And my daddy said stay away from Juliet
But you were everything to me
I was begging you please don't go and I said

Romeo take me somewhere we can be alone
I'll be waiting all there's left to do is run
You'll be the prince and I'll be the princess
It's a love story baby just say yes

Romeo save me, they try to tell me how to feel
This love is difficult, but it's real
Don't be afraid, we'll make it out of this mess
It's a love story baby just say yes
Oh oh

I got tired of waiting
Wondering if you were ever coming around
My faith in you is fading
When I met you on the outskirts of town, and I said

Romeo save me I've been feeling so alone
I keep waiting for you but you never come
Is this in my head? I don't know what to think
He knelt to the ground and pulled out a ring

And said, marry me Juliet
You'll never have to be alone
I love you and that's all I really know
I talked to your dad, go pick out a white dress
It's a love story baby just say yes

Oh, oh, oh, oh
'Cause we were both young when I first saw you

Pray for me....

2009-05-10T22:39:00.000-07:00

As time passes, confidence seems to have slipped away with it too. What is next after being rejected by Universities? I hate having my plans all screwed and my life in a mess. Why is everybody getting their acceptance letter and in a dilema over which course to take up, yet here I am still waiting in silence for mine? ABBC shouldn't be as bad a result as it is right now, right? Or was I over confident and easily contented with this lousy result to only see the truth now, slapped hard in the face to find out.

Right now, what I can do is just to stay positive and pray. That's all I am doing anyway. I still believe I will eventually get into Maritime Studies and I shall get an interview appointment soon. Please pray for me.

2009-05-06T23:49:00.000-07:00

Finally have a chance to update this abandoned blog. Well, its because I fell ill and did not go to work today that I am so free. You'll probably ask what happened but you should be able to guess that it's due to fatigue. Anyway, I will end work this coming June so May shall be my last month working.

What is bothering me is that my Undergrade application to ALL 3 local Universities is not getting any response when all my other friends has gotten theirs. This is a bad bad sign. And I thought I did pretty well in the A Levels. Hah! What a frog in a well.

I will be going to work later too (part-time) since I feel much better after sleeping for nearly 12 hours. And the doctor even gave me MC for tomorrow. LOLx.

2009-04-10T20:52:00.000-07:00

Welcome to the 1st proper post of my new blog.

Topic for the day: Is a busy life a fulfilling one?

I have been really really busy with work work work and more work. Either that, I am having driving lessons. It feels like I am really doing something during this LONG break, so much so that I am in fact lacking sleep. Everytime I feel like going out with my friends for a short gathering, I would be so tired that I would persuade myself not to go, or my mum will do the persuasion. Eventually, I just neglect all my friends. Yes, that's not what I want. that's not what I like. And when I'm doing something I dislike, it cannot be considered a fulfilling life, right?

But I had always thought that any day spent doing nothing is a waste. That is not fulfilling. That was the reason why I was so 'depressed' when I did not have a job and was rotting at home. So now, what is the definition of fufilling? Maybe, it means that we have to spend time doing things we like for the whole day and during any free time that we have?

No lesson in the world educates you more than the lesson you gain from life. That is what I found out from these few months of 'real life education'. I still have another semester to go!

2009-04-04T22:21:00.000-07:00

Here I present to you:
~White Horse
by Taylor Swift

Say you're sorry
That face of an angel
Comes out just when you need it to.
As i paced back and forth all this time
'cause i honestly believed in you.
Holdin' on,
The days drag on.
Stupid girl,
I should've known, i should've known.

(( chorus ))
That i'm not a princess; this ain't a fairy tale.
I'm not the one you'll sweep off her feet,
Lead her up the stairwell.
This ain't hollywood; this is a small town.
I was a dreamer before you went and let me down.
Now it too late for you and your white horse to come around.

Maybe i was naive,
Got lost in your eyes and never really had a chance.
I had so many dreams about you and me:
Happy endings.
Now i know

(( chorus ))
That i'm not a princess; this ain't a fairy tale.
I'm not the one you'll sweep off her feet,
Lead her up the stairwell.
This ain't hollywood; this is a small town.
I was a dreamer before you went and let me down.
Now it too late for you and your white horse to come around.
And there you are on your knees
Begging for forgiveness, begging for me
Just like i always wanted, but i'm sooo sorry.

'cause i'm not your princess; this ain't a fairytale.
I'm gonna find someone someday who might actually treat me well.
This is a big world; that was a small town, There in my rearview mirror disappearing now. And it's too late for you and your white horse
Now it's too late for you and your white horse to catch me now.
Oh whoa whoa whoaaa try and catch me now.
Ooh it's too late to catch me now.